


The Avenging Hand of God... or Something Like That

by Manickmondays



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angel!Michael, M/M, Monster!AU, Pre-Relationship, demon!Geoff, like squint and it's there freewood, really rather more nudity than is warranted, vampire!Ryan, werewolf!Gavin, zombie!ray
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-04-29 05:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5116709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manickmondays/pseuds/Manickmondays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael has gone on a biblical rampage in the middle of the woods and no one can find him. It's cold, it's dark and there are drunk campers everywhere. This isn't quite the night out Ryan was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, Gav, where the fuck is Michael?” Geoff all but burst into the office with a cup of coffee, followed by a quiet Ryan who absolutely _stank_ of blood.

“Dunno.” Gavin shrugged, swallowing his gag, and turned back to his monitor, trying to level up before they recorded their next Destiny raid.

“The fuck you mean you don’t know where he is? He was in here with you, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, but he’s a bloody adult, inn’e? ‘S not my job to keep track of him.” He turned back to his screen, apparently waiting to be revived. Geoff groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Ray? You have any idea where he is?” Ray slid his headphones off of his head and turned to Geoff.

“Uh, no?”

“He fucking sits in between you two!”

“I figured he was going to the kitchen so I didn’t bother to ask!” Gavin’s voice was getting defensively shriller by the word.

“Well that’s where I was, so I would have seen him!” Geoff’s eyes flicked between a _very_ annoyed Gavin to Michael’s desk, with its dark monitors and a silent computer. And then to the backpack still sat next to the desk. He silently ticked numbers off on his fingers before whispering a quiet ‘oh shit’ and pointing at Gavin, who jumped back in surprise.

“I-I didn’t do _anything_ , Geoff don’t-” Geoff’s impatient snap cut him off.

“Did he look weird when he walked out of here?” Gavin’s face went blank for a moment as he thought before nodding tentatively.

“A bit, yeah. Didn’t say goodbye or anything. ‘s why I figured he wasn’t leaving.”

“Did he look like he was… glowing? Maybe stiff and kinda,” He waved a hand in front of his eyes, “blank looking.”

“Ohhhh _shit_.” Ray quietly cut in, clearly understanding something that Gavin was not.

“Yeah.” Geoff nodded in acknowledgement of this sudden realization before turning back to Gavin.

“He’s pale as hell, Geoff. He always looks like he’s glowing.” Gavin snorted at his own joke before an electric blue glare cut him off.

“Not funny, asshole.”

“Alright, alright, he did look a bit… radiant, I s’pose.” Geoff sighed roughly and turned to Ray who nodded and grabbed his hoodie off the back of his chair.

“Go to the car and wait for Jack and me.” Gavin looked between the pair, absolutely _baffled_.

“Could either of you tell me what the bloody _hell_ is going on?!” Ray had already left, running into Jack as he did and dragging him away with a knowing look. Which left a very exasperated Geoff to explain, who had apparently not realized that his horns and tail had appeared; the latter was whipping behind him in frustration.

“Well. Sometimes Michael… gets a little… _vengeful_.”

“What- what the hell do you mean? Why don’t I know about this?”

“Well, usually we’re here to stop him before he gets out but… sometimes his ‘original programming’ takes over, as he puts it, and he needs to go ‘exact the fury of God.’ Or something like that. I mean, he hasn’t _killed_ anyone yet.”

“Yet?!” Gavin parroted, eyes wide.

“We calm him down before he can- look, I can’t exactly explain the intricacies of metaphysical beings’ behavior. I have to _stop_ said metaphysical being from killing some dickhead for breaking some obscure biblical rule. You and Ryan try not to kill each other and we should be back soon.” And with _that_ helpful bit of information he was gone.

“Bloody hell… did you know about this, Ryan?”

“Hm?” Gavin’s question had pulled him out of the trance editing had put him in. “I think Geoff mentioned it, yeah.”

“Unbelievable! I only _just_ moved out! And we work together!”

“Aw, are you mad that _Dad_ doesn’t talk to you anymore?” Ryan chuckled and took a sip of the absolutely _vile_ smelling mixture of bagged pigs blood and Diet Coke. The stuff was enough to make Miles all but projectile vomit a few weeks ago when, somehow, he mistook the pitcher of it in the kitchen for a blueberry smoothie.

Made for good content, anyways.

“Oh, shut it, Ryan. I just don’t know why you know and I never did.” Gavin choked down a gag, but Ryan picked up on it nonetheless and rolled his eyes.

“He probably told you and you just forgot.”

“ _Michael_ never even told me!” He swore quietly as he knifed his way off a cliff, eyes constantly flicking between Ryan and his screen.

“I have to admit, if _I_ went around killing people on the regular, I wouldn’t mention it either. Not really a good icebreaker.”

“You are _always_ talking about murder, Ryan. Creepy bastard…” Gavin laughed softly and returned to his game, the room falling into a not totally uncomfortable silence. That is, until Ryan walked past practically drenched in the scent of blood and Gavin’s gag reflex worked overtime to make sure he was almost emptying the contents of his stomach onto the floor.

“I have to eat too, you know!” Ryan spat as Gavin doubled over, dry heaving.

“You smell _awful!_ ” He choked out in between strained coughs as Ryan sighed roughly.

“Imagine how terrible this stuff _tastes,_ and I’ve been drinking it since before I had teeth. Anyways, you always smell like wet dog after a full moon, and you never hear me complain.” Gavin scoffed, hurt especially because he knew that was a lie. He hadn’t been on a hunt in months, the pull of the full moon not even strong enough to convince him to hunt without a proper pack.

He had left his whole pack back home and hadn’t been able to find one in Austin accepting enough of outsiders. Packs were familial, mostly, and he vividly remembered turning people down back home. He hadn’t thought anything of the practice then. Didn’t think he’d ever be the outsider. The loose network of werewolves provided some sort of community that made hunts more successful and honestly, more fun. Wasn’t exactly enjoyable if your only accompaniment was a very tired, very sour demon who was really only there to get you home.

“I’m sorry, Ryan, the stuff makes me want to vom!”

“If you’d like to pay for my donor match account, be my guest. I’d much prefer to feed live anyways.” Gavin stuck out his tongue and crinkled his nose, slightly exaggerating his disgust at the prospect of feeding off of someone.

“You still do that? Isn’t it… messy?” In his head, it was a scene straight out of a slasher film, blood everywhere in some sort of disgusting, cannibalistic shower.

“Yes, vampires still feed live. Most of us do for all our meals, actually. Maybe if you actually _knew_ anything about vampires you would know that.” Gavin had to restrain his eye roll. It’s not like he _needed_ to know anything about vampires, right? He just had to work with one. “And yeah, it does get messy if you pierce the jugular and, you know, kill the person. But we don’t _do_ that, because our parents taught us better than to be mindless animals that devour livestock and ruin economies. That and usually you can get people to come back for more if you don’t kill them.”

“People _like_ that?”

“Tons, actually. Lights up a lot of pleasure centers in the brain is what I’ve heard.”

“Ugh, God, I can’t imagine that feeling good. Fangs all up in my neck and what not. ‘s just gross.” He shivered at the imagined sensation.

“You’d be surprised, Gavin. Most people don’t think they’ll like it and end up becoming lifelong donors. Though the almost constant sex probably doesn’t hurt.” Ryan tacked on with a chuckle as Gavin’s eyes widened at the words ‘constant sex’. “They don’t exactly come back out of the kindness of their hearts.”

“So do you…” The rest of the question died on Gavin’s lips and he just sort of waggled his eyebrows to get his point across.

“…Yes! No! Uh, sometimes?” Ryan folded his arms and huffed out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It absolutely does! If I had as much sex as you just admitted you have I wouldn’t be able to shut up about it.”

“Well I suppose that’s what makes us different, Gavin. I don’t go around just-” Gavin’s phone nearly vibrating off of his desk cut him off.

“Hey, Geoff! What’s up?”

“We’re _fucked!_ ” Geoff’s panicked shriek made the both of them jump, exchanging a brief nervous glance.

“What’s wrong?” Gavin tried to keep his voice even, but Ryan could see his hands beginning to shake a bit.

“We fucking lost him is what’s wrong! He went into the fucking _woods_ and we can’t track him dow- You.”

“Me?!” Gavin squeaked, nearly rocketing out of his chair.

“You’re a dog, right? Kind of?”

“Not really, but why?”

“Can you track people?”

“I’ve never- I don’t know- Probably. I can try.”

“That’s good enough for me. Get Ryan to drive you out here and we’ll go from there.” Ryan’s eyes widened at his name and he attempted to grab the phone from Gavin.

“I will be doing _nothing_ of the sort!” Gavin scowled at Ryan who currently had a hand pushed into his face, the other groping for the phone just out of reach. “Tell him I am not driving you to the woods!”

“The hell you aren’t, Ryan!” Geoff’s angry yell sounded from the phone, audible even as far away as it was from the both of them. Gavin pushed Ryan off of him with a grunt, cradling the phone in his shoulder.

“I don’t think he’s going to do it, Geoff.”

“If he wants to keep his job he will!” Geoff _really_ didn’t need to be shouting as loud as he was, and Gavin thought he could hear Jack in the background telling him to calm down.

“Tell him we’ll meet him… wherever the hell he is as soon as we can.” Ryan dug the keys out of his pocket with a sigh. Gavin relayed the information to Geoff, who to their relief, could no longer be heard with the phone an arm’s length from the both of them. Gavin nodded a couple of times and hung up, stuffing the phone in his back pocket.

“He sounded proper worried.”

“One of his employees is going on a biblical rampage. It’s only reasonable he’d be nervous. I’m sure everything will be ok.” Ryan smiled with a small shrug. With how panicked Geoff sounded the last thing anyone needed was _Gavin_ freaking out too. “Let’s get going. I’d preferably like to stop the murder rampage as soon as possible.” Gavin chuckled and stopped fiddling with his watch band.

“I think that’s a good idea.” As Ryan went to turn the lights off and lock up as much as a person without keys could, he hesitated for a second, staring at the jacket still slung over the back of Michael’s chair.

“Do you think you’ll need something of Michael’s?”

“Huh?”

“You know to like, get his scent. That is how dogs work, right?”

“Again,” Gavin gestured to himself, “not a dog. Probably wouldn’t hurt though.” Ryan grabbed the jacket and closed the door behind him with a sigh. It was going to be a long night.

Despite the fact that the sun was sunk low in the sky, the air still held some warmth, warmth that Ryan hoped would last if he was going to be sat in the woods, waiting for his coworker to come down from his murderous rampage. He was probably going to be hungry and he considered grabbing another cupful of his ‘smoothie’, but just the thought of Gavin heaving in his car put him off the idea. He really wasn’t in the mood for scraping vomit off of his floorboard.

Ryan threw the jacket to the back seat as Gavin slid into the car and almost _immediately_ kicked his feet onto the dashboard.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Gavin looked at him dumbly, as if he had no concept of what he was doing wrong… and judging by his blank look, he didn’t. Ryan gestured to his feet and Gavin took them down with a hardly concealed eye roll. What an… an _animal._

“Where are we headed?” Gavin pulled out his phone as a response and after a bit of fumbling and cursing, got his navigation working.

“Listen to this and we should be good.” Ryan snorted a bit and started the car.

“I find your faith in that amusing.”

“It’s never gotten me lost before. Is it hard to be that cynical all the time?”

“It’s like second nature at this point.” Gavin laughed and leaned his head against the window lightly, testing if there was going to be protest from Ryan. When there wasn’t he settled in for the ride, letting the silence fall between them again, only broken by the robotic commands of the phone.

The traffic had kindly decided to be not terrible and let them show up a reasonable half hour later. Not that Geoff thought it was reasonable, if the way he was pacing around the parking lot with his hands shoved in his pockets and tail whipping behind him irritably was any indication.

“Where the _hell_ were you?” Geoff was on them in an instant. Ryan hadn’t even finished stepping out of the car and he had a face full of furious demon.

“We could not have physically gotten here faster, Geoff.” Ryan deadpanned and gently pushed him away, not missing how the flame suspended between his horns flared angrily at the touch.

“We’ve been hearing shouting for the past few minutes, but look around.” Jack pulled Geoff away and gestured to the mostly full parking lot around them. “It could be drunk campers. It’s probably drunk campers, actually.”

“Which only makes this whole thing _worse_ , because we don’t even have the screaming to go by.”

“We’ll find him. We always find him.” Ray was quiet, Ryan finally noticing where he stood.

“Now that I’m here we will!” Everyone turned to look at Gavin, proudly brandishing the jacket like a trophy. Ryan could see the wheels turning in Geoff’s head and his fears were confirmed when he spoke.

“Gav, Ryan you go off together. I’ll take Jack and Ray and follow where we last saw him head off.” Before Ryan could speak they were gone, Geoff dragging them away close to him. Gotta protect the normal and the literal walking corpse, Ryan supposed.

“This isn’t a-” He sighed, realizing Geoff either _could_ not or did not _want_ to hear him, “This isn’t a Scooby Doo episode. I was just… Gavin’s ride…” His arms hung limply at his sides, defeated. Driving Gavin to the woods was enough; he hadn’t anticipated having to track Michael down too.

“Are we gonna do this or are you gonna stand in a parking lot and make jokes all night?” Gavin looked at him expectantly.

“Honestly? I’d prefer the latter. But _sure,_ let’s go hunt down our murderous angelic friend. I don’t get out enough as is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! The second chapter will be up next week(ish) and the third about a week after that. I technically got this up in October, and that's a success in my book. Wanna come talk to me, ask questions, just headcanon jam? I'm on tumblr at [m4d-m4x](http://m4d-m4x.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

The heat that Ryan had hoped would hold when the sun went down had dissipated almost immediately, and his jacket was hardly enough to keep out the chill. Especially for the good hour they had been wandering aimlessly through the forest. Well,  _Gavin_ claimed he was ‘Tracking, Ryan! It’s a delicate business’ despite the fact he had never done so before, but to Ryan it seemed a hell of a lot like wandering.

And then they got lost.

“Ryan… I don’t know where we are.” Gavin had stopped and was turning about aimlessly. Ryan looked up from the acorn he had managed to kick with him an impressive distance and cocked an eyebrow.

“You haven’t known where we were from the second we stepped out of the parking lot. What makes now any different except for the fact that it’s colder and darker?” Gavin shook his head, shaking the jacket clutched in his fist.

“No I’m proper lost, Ryan. I can’t find a trace of Michael anymore. The trail is too weak for me to follow and it’s like he just… disappeared.”

“Can he do that?” Ryan hadn’t thought that teleportation was possible, but he was proven sorely wrong when Geoff just _appeared_ at work in a burst of blue fire one day. He had since learned not to take anything for granted when it came to metaphysical beings. Sure, his boss could teleport, because his boss was a demon. Ryan just accepted it and moved on. He kept his sanity that way.

“Not that I know of. Though apparently there’s quite a bit I don’t know about him.” Gavin grumbled, “He can fly, but only in his trueform. We’d know if he went trueform too, because there’d be a path torn through the forest but look,” He waved an arm around at the undisturbed forest, the hoot of an owl punctuating his point, “nothing’s wrong.”

“Well.” Ryan pulled his phone out of his pocket, wincing at the sudden bright light, “I can’t get a signal to get Geoff to come get us. You wanna find our way out of the forest or…” Ryan trailed off, giving Gavin the chance to find another solution.

“Or I could go feral and pick up the trail.” Gavin suggested quietly, hands fisting in the jacket. He didn’t particularly want to go feral, for a few reasons. The transformation was exhausting and painful, and the moon wasn’t nearly full enough for the nagging feeling in the back of his brain that he ought to be out hunting. He wasn’t _particularly_ in control when he transformed either, animal instinct taking over for rational judgement, and if instinct deemed Ryan a threat… it wasn’t pretty. But he _knew_ this was their only chance at finding Michael, because Geoff stumbling around a dark forest with Ray and Jack wasn’t going to find anything but a bunch of pissed off campers.

“Or, you-you know, we could _not_ do that, which actually sounds like a great idea if you ask me because I mean, Michael will be ok, right? He’ll just calm down and everything will be ok and you don’t have to go feral and I go home in one piece and not in a body bag-” The words were just tumbling out of Ryan’s mouth at a breakneck pace, trying to say anything to get Gavin to stay human. That would be how he would go, of course. Torn to shreds in the woods by a werewolf. A werewolf he worked with. What would his mother say?

Gavin grabbed Ryan’s wrist, cutting his chatter short. They didn’t have _time_ for this, for Ryan to be scared, as understandable as that was. Every minute they stood here talking was another minute closer Michael came to actually killing someone.

“Ryan.”

“You _really_ don’t have to do this, Gavin, it’ll be fine if you don’t we can just go home and-”

“ _Ryan._ I need you to _trust_ me. We’ll find Michael, and everything will be alright, but you have to let me transform.” Gavin’s voice was calm but stern and damnit if it didn’t have Ryan considering changing his mind. A knot of fear still sat in his gut but it wasn’t as threatening as before, no longer worming its way to paralyzing him.

“It’ll be fine, Ryan.” He gave Ryan’s arm a gentle squeeze, trying to convince him in any way possible that this was how things had to happen. A few tense moments passed between them before Ryan’s shoulders dropped with a sigh and Gavin released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“You might wanna take a step back.” He let go of Ryan’s arm and he complied, sliding backwards. Gavin sighed and waved his hand, shooing Ryan away further. “A bit more than that.”

“How… how much room do you need?” He had never seen a werewolf in their feral form, rarely interacting with werewolves at all on orders from his mother. He had little experience to draw on, and his imagination was running wild with what he was going to see. Especially when Gavin started taking his shirt off.

“Oh god why are you taking your shirt off.” Ryan was confused, especially when Gavin made to toss the shirt to him. They were something that might be considered friends but he was pretty sure kind of friends didn’t undress in the middle of forests.

But there Gavin was. Shirtless.

What a night.

“I don’t want to ruin my clothes, so uh, could you… hold these?” Before he could politely decline there was a lump of clothes thrown at him and it was do or die, to catch or not to catch. If only to not anger the man that was about to transform into a werewolf, he caught the clothes, tucking them under his arm.

“Uh… see you on the other side?” Ryan desperately quipped, trying his very best not to panic and falling back on his oldest friend: sarcasm. Gavin laughed softly and rolled his eyes

“I’m not dying, Ryan. It won’t be that bad.”

The subsequent transformation was the most horrific thing Ryan had ever seen in his whole life. He knew he’d never forget the wet snap and crunch of bones rearranging themselves, the sight of Gavin’s hands going from hand to paw to something in between, the way his skin crawled at the muscle growth beneath it. He fought very hard to keep down his lunch, a disgusting mix of blood, Diet Coke and bile rising in the back of his throat. The most unnerving part were his eyes, reluctant to change from their hazel until the last second, when what used to be Gavin was now a seven foot tall, golden brown werewolf sat upright on its haunches, paws dangling limply from its sides. Gavin- the werewolf- the Gavin werewolf, fuck, Ryan didn’t even _know_ at that point, shut its eyes and shook its head, and when its eyes reopened they were no longer hazel, no, they were a deep, piercing yellow-gold, pupils thin and distrusting.

Ryan had always thought the whole ‘life flashing before your eyes just before you die’ thing was a myth, or at least a convenient literary device, but he certainly didn’t think that as he met eyes with the creature, its breath huffing clouds into the cold night. His whole life came crashing to him like a tsunami, every decision that led him to this point burning into his retinas in an instant and he began to _really_ regret his choice of career at that point.

That is, till the werewolf’s brow softened and its eyes widened with recognition and all of a sudden Ryan had a face full of very excited werewolf licking his face like an over eager puppy.

“Hey! Hey, there!” Ryan put his hands up and let the creature smother him in affection, trying his best not to fall over with the weight of the werewolf all but on top of him. As scared as he still was it was sort of… cute the way the werewolf was excitedly not tearing him to shreds. He didn’t particularly want to think of it as _cute_ but sometimes facts were facts, and the fact was the werewolf was being pretty adorable. “Uh…. down… boy?” The werewolf backed off immediately, flattening its ears against its head and dropping down on all fours. Even when not on its hind legs the werewolf was huge, its shoulders reaching Ryan’s chest. “There we go… That’s a good… dog.”

In response, the werewolf rolled its _fucking_ eyes.

“What do you want me to call you?! You can’t seriously expect me to call you Gavin.” The werewolf huffed in annoyance and furrowed its brow again. “Un- fucking- believable. Well then, _Gavin_ , should we,” He waved his hands about as much as he could with the clothes tucked under his arm, “get going?” The werewolf- Gavin, Ryan needed to think of him as Gavin, nosed at the discarded jacket on the ground, snuffling around to get the scent of it again. All of a sudden his head snapped up, nostrils wildly flaring as he searched around for Michael’s scent. He perked up like he had found it, ears and tail at attention before all but gluing his nose to the ground and trotting off, paying no mind to Ryan.

“Wait, Gavin slow-” He trailed off, watching Gavin scamper away, only stopping to cast his head about for the next hint of smell, “down…” He stooped down, grabbed the jacket and added it to his ever growing collection of clothes that were not his. He was careful to keep it separate from Gavin’s clothes, though. No point in confusing him. He took off at a light jog, following the trail of leaves displaced by Gavin’s snout.

Gavin somehow had the sense to realize that Ryan was not with him and stopped, looking around for any sight of him. He perked up at the sound of Ryan fighting his way through the unmarked path and his tail started whipping back and forth at the sight of him appearing over a hill. He let out a soft little _boof_ in greeting, and cocked his head when Ryan didn’t respond, only stumbled to a stop and bent over wheezing.

“I can’t… go… that fast…” Jesus, he needed to get in shape. Gavin slunk over guiltily, making himself as small as possible and tentatively licked at Ryan’s face, apologizing profusely. “It’s fine, just…” He stopped to catch his breath before continuing, “make sure I can keep up. I do have your clothes, remember.” Gavin snorted and nuzzled at Michael’s jacket, getting a reminder of the scent he was hunting. “Ok, now _wait_ before you take off. I am not a dog.” Gavin narrowed his eyes, lip curling in anger. Even in his feral form, he was _not_ a dog. After a second of intimidating Ryan into never calling him a dog ever again he locked on to Michael’s scent and started walking, snout still pressed to the ground but going at a significantly slower pace.

Ryan kept up fairly well as the night crawled on, grateful for the excuse not to talk to Gavin, even if the excuse was the fact he was a huge wolf. What felt like hours slipped past, though as the obsessive amount of times Ryan checked his phone could tell him, it had been about forty five minutes since Gavin transformed. Gavin had stayed fairly well on his task, more than he did when he was transformed, though he had stopped to catch a bird. While impressive, it was also a bit disgusting, and it really didn’t ease Ryan’s still buzzing nerves to see wet blood plastered to Gavin’s muzzle. They pressed on, Ryan simultaneously growing more bored and more anxious every step he took, until Gavin’s nose hit a discarded pile of clothes. He started whimpering, nosing at the clothes nervously and pacing around them, as if they would bite him. Gavin’s eyes were flitting between the pile of clothes and Ryan, and when he crouched down to look at the clothes a little more closely, he realized why Gavin was so nervous. They were Michael’s clothes.

And Ryan came to two conclusions. Either Michael was now exacting justice naked, or he had gone trueform, and neither were particularly appealing situations. He needed to call Geoff. _Now._

He dug his phone out of his pocket and he had _just_ enough signal to call Geoff, though the call wavered as he did.

“We’ve got a situation.”

“Tell me about it.” Ryan elected to ignore the sarcasm and continue with his news; his signal was threatening to give out and he didn’t have time to waste jumping through hoops like this.

“Either Michael’s gone trueform or he’s pursued his lifelong goal of being a streaker and both of those are pretty horrific, so keep an eye out for either a huge guy or a nude guy. You know, in case those weren’t noticeable enough on their own.” Geoff paused, silence buzzing over the line.

On his side of the forest, Geoff craned his head back to look up at the metallic four armed angel more formally known as Michael, Power of Heaven. “Yeah, I think I would notice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, when I said I'd have this up two weeks from Halloween, I was not anticipating the absolutely slammed November I was about to have. Sorry! I'll be better about wrapping this thing up and then I can maybe work on the four other things I have started! Woo!  
> Wanna come talk to me? Find me on tumblr at [m4d-m4x](http://m4d-m4x.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

“That was cryptic.”

“Ok, motherfucker, let me be absolutely clear.” Ryan could almost see the flames flickering in Geoff’s eyes as he spoke. “Michael’s gone trueform.”

“Isn’t this the part where you do the same?” He’d never seen Geoff go trueform, only heard him threaten it about four or five times a week, usually when a recording would go wrong and he didn’t have anyone to blame. Geoff let out a bitter little chuckle, crackling over the barely held together service.

“If I go trueform, one of us is dying and it’s not gonna fucking be him. I’m too old to take him in a fight.”

“Aren’t you both older than time itself or something like that?”

“Old _and_ tired.” Fair enough. “Just get over here. Look for the lights and the- what the _fuck_ is he doing?- and the shouting and you’ll find us. I gotta go or I may have some- shit!- some liability stuff to deal with-“ And the call dropped then, Ryan’s signal finally giving up on him. He looked over to Gavin, still looking at the clothes with a worried set in his brow.

“It’s as bad as you think it is, Gav.” Gavin whimpered and shrunk down to about as small as a seven foot were-beast _could._ Ryan tried not to feel heartbroken at the sight of the timid werewolf, but Ryan was kind of a dog person and Gavin was close enough that the look on his face was straight out of a shelter commercial.

“I- I mean it’s fine it’s just-” Gavin started stamping nervously and licking his nose, and Ryan just _knew_ words weren’t going to be enough to calm him down. He balled up his fists, already regretting what he was about to do. He took a few cautious steps towards Gavin, and when he didn’t lose a limb, crept a little closer to tangle his fingers behind Gavin’s ear. Gavin perked up a bit, cocking his head, clearly confused because Ryan was _touching_ him. To Ryan’s surprise he leaned into the touch, melting a little against Ryan’s hand.

And then Ryan started scratching a little and he was just in heaven. Gavin’s eyes slipped closed after a second and his toes started twitching, head growing heavier in Ryan’s hand by the second. Ryan was really trying his best to push down all of the arrant thoughts about how weird this was and how he was never going to speak of this to anyone ever to focus on making Gavin feel better. God knows if he couldn’t focus when he was happy he wouldn’t be able to do a thing scared. That was Ryan’s reason, and he was sticking to it.

After it looked like Gavin was about to slump to the ground with how blissed out he was, Ryan finally stopped scratching behind his ears. As soon as he did, Gavin’s eyes flicked back open, and Ryan couldn’t control the little shock that went through him at the sight of the werewolf’s yellow eyes. But, to his relief, there was no longer a set in Gavin’s brow and he seemed relaxed. Now, he just never had to speak to anyone about the experience ever again and things would be just fine.

“Alright, Gavin, we… we have to go find Michael,” Gavin let out a piteous whimper at the fact they had to face that, “Yeah… I _really_ don’t want to do this either, but Geoff said we had to. He said we had to follow the shouting and, well…” Ryan looked around at the mostly quiet forest, “I haven’t heard a lot of that, have you?” Gavin made a low sound that might have been meant as a no, until his ears started swiveling as if he was hearing something Ryan couldn’t. He really pushed down the urge to ask ‘what is it, boy?’ in the most sarcastic tone he could muster, but only because he enjoyed having a body un-mauled by his werewolf coworker, thank you very much. A couple seconds later Ryan heard quite clearly what Gavin was, shouting- no, roaring, almost, undercut with something… vicious, brutal, like war rumbling behind the voice.

The sound undid all the careful work Ryan had done in calming Gavin down; he could see his hackles raising and he spared a moment to wonder why he even bothered before Gavin started growling lowly and stalking towards where the noise had roughly come from. Scared and aggressive wasn’t a Gavin that Ryan terribly wanted to be around, but he had no choice to follow him, especially when he snorted and took off at a brisk trot. He had the kid’s clothes after all. And Michael’s, after realizing that when the situation resolved itself he might like some clothes. Gavin did seem to remember that Ryan couldn’t quite keep up at his top speed, but he wasn’t stopping for anything, not until he found the source of the noise. As they approached and the shouting resumed, louder than before, Ryan saw what looked like searchlights roving the sky, and he hoped to god the police weren’t at the scene. He didn’t want to send his mother to an early grave by appearing on national television as filmed by a police helicopter.

After a good ten or so minutes of running (and Ryan wishing he was dead) they finally found the place Geoff was speaking of, if the fifteen foot angel with a half-naked man in his grip was any indication. Geoff nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Gavin barrel into the scene before realizing it was indeed Gavin, and then seeing Ryan straggling behind.

“Two… _fuck_ \- two things.” Ryan held up two fingers, “He is an asshole,” he pointed at Gavin who was excitedly snuffling at Ray and Jack, “And _what_ is going on here?” Gavin had ceased greeting everyone, now sitting back on his haunches and whining up at Michael. As Ryan took in the sight of what he knew to be his naked coworker, he found out the source of the searchlights- the light was emanating from Michael’s eyes. Oh, and the flaming sword was new.

“We found him here, yelling something about how this guy tried to do something fuckin’ gross to someone, and well.” Michael roared again, and his voice resonated in Ryan’s chest this close.

“Have you guys tried, I don’t know, anything?!” Ryan gestured to the angel, a bit frantic.

Geoff shrugged, a little too nonchalant for Ryan’s taste, “He won’t listen when we talk, and frankly, I wouldn’t mind if he killed the guy. Usually it’s for some obscure crap like, I think shellfish was a problem once, but this seems like a fucker that needs to die.”

“I’m just gonna say it again, maybe we shouldn’t take morality advice from the demon.” Ray piped up, and Geoff rolled his eyes. “I’ve been saying the whole time we should keep talking to him.”

“I’d rather not be an accessory to murder, myself, but that’s just me.” Jack shrugged, “But Geoff’s not lying about him not listening. We can’t even get him to pay attention to us.” Ryan sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, it had been a long night already, and somehow everyone but he had given up on talking Michael down from his rampage. They all just sort of watched placidly as the man in Michael’s fist cried to be put down, even Gavin wasn’t nearly as nervous as before, halfway to laying down.

“Does anyone even _care_ he’s about to murder someone?”

“I do.” The humans, well, humans and demon, all said at once, while Gavin made a noise that sounded somewhat affirmative.

“Does anyone want to _do_ something about that?” And at that, everyone was silent. “I cannot believe you all.” He was tired, and hungry, and getting to be angry, and that was a combination no one needed to be exposed to. He forced himself to take a calming breath, willing down the frustration that was rapidly building. “It seems like the only problem is you can’t get him to pay attention to you, but if we got him to pay attention, does someone want to at least try?”

Ray raised his hand, looking for all the world like a kid in class, “I’ve talked him out of it before, before any of the rest of you, actually. He’ll listen to me, if no one else. I’ll give it a shot, but I’m not making any promises.” Ryan was starting to hatch a plan, and he pointed at Gavin rather emphatically.

“You.” Gavin perked up and made a little noise. “Yeah, can you be as annoying as a dog as you are as a human?” Gavin growled a little bit, lip curling, ears flat against his head. “Ok, as a not-dog than as a human.” Gavin just narrowed his eyes and Ryan corrected himself again, “I’m just asking how loud you can be.” If dogs- something with canine body structure- could shrug, Gavin did. “Not helpful but all I’m thinking is maybe Michael just can’t _hear_ you all. So if Gavin can, I dunno, howl or something loud enough to get Michael’s attention and then he might listen.” Everyone looked around, nodding a bit here and there and turned back to Ryan, and then and there he realized he had become a… _leader._ This night just got worse by the minute. He just had to embrace it and it would be over soon enough, after they talked down their coworker. Hell, or more accurately heaven-bent on murder.

“Ray, you’re good to talk to him?”

“I mean, I can try.”

“Ok, now, Gavin, loud as you can, get his attention.” And did he ever. As soon as Gavin’s jaw had snapped shut from his rather piercing howl, the searchlights that Ryan realized were coming from Michael’s eyes focused down on them, making them all squint a little. Ray, to his credit, stepped forward without Ryan having to say a word.

“Hey… Michael.” Ray spoke quietly, but the campsite was quiet save for the faint crackling of the fire. Everyone seemed to be frozen, not even breathing and waiting to see what would happen next.

“You dare to interrupt me amidst my duty?” Michael’s voice was rumbling, furious even for his calm, metered tone.

“Hey, look, we’ve talked about this. This isn’t your job.”

“To exact justice on wrongdoers? I would say that it is.”

“Not killing them, dude, that’s not your job at all. Look at the guy.” The light swiveled to the man in Michael’s fist, and even from the ground they could hear his cries. Michael looked him up and down, or at least it looked like it with the way the lights were roving over the man’s body. “I don’t think he’s ever going to do something immoral again. You’ve ‘exacted justice’ so let’s maybe not have someone die?” He was so nonchalant with his hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie, but Ryan could see the slight way his leg was bouncing. He’d have to find a way to thank him for not completely losing it, like telling the guys to maybe ease up on the undead jokes (not that they’d be likely to do it, but it was the effort that counted).

“He has done wrong, though.”

“Yeah, and that shit’s gonna bite him in the ass but you’re not getting, like, a bonus for taking him out and making that judgement. Put the guy down and let him live his life, alright? And maybe chill with the flaming sword.” The hand holding the sword dropped slightly, and then the grip on it released entirely. Ryan could hear the collective breath the group took, including his own unconscious one until the sword struck the ground and broke apart into nothing but sparks.

“He… is free to go. And I suggest he do so quickly, before I change my mind.” Michael knelt down and released the man in his fist, who skittered away rather quickly with what must have been left of his dignity. And all of a sudden, in a rather bright flash of light, all the limbs and wings and eyes were replaced by a much smaller, _much_ angrier Michael, who made no attempts to cover himself. None of the hands shielding themselves from the light dropped, shielding themselves from something else entirely.

“Jesus, _fuck_ , is it cold out here!” He folded his arms with a loud huff. “How’d I get fuckin’ stuck out here in the goddamn cold…” He mumbled as he came closer to the group, all of them crying out a bit and moving their hands accordingly. Michael locked eyes with Ryan who tried his best to keep his eyes above the non-existent belt and just shoved the balled up clothes in Michael’s direction, hoping they weren’t Gavin’s. The amount of bitching he would have to endure would be enough to make him want to throttle the werewolf- well, more than normal.

“Thanks.” He gave a brisk nod and stalked off, hopefully to clothe himself.

“ _Please_ tell me none of you saw dick, just for your own sakes.” Geoff said when Michael was out of earshot. A chorus of denial came from everyone, and some sort of noise from Gavin they all hoped was a yes. Geoff nodded approvingly, and silence fell for a second before Gavin’s stomach growled loudly.

“Did he get to hunt?” Geoff’s tone was rather accusatory and Ryan wasn’t a fan of it.

“No? He was tracking down Michael the whole time, like you asked him to.” Geoff groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“The kid’s gotta hunt, or he’ll pass out after turning human again and then you got to get him to a hospital and- look, I gotta get these four home because I don’t think I can really excuse keeping them out any longer, can you, you know, bring him back for me when he’s done?”

“So, you’re basically asking me to walk your dog, but with more blood on his part?” Ryan heard a snarl beside him at the word ‘dog’ and elected to ignore it.

“Yeah, thanks, glad you’re taking care of it.” And before Ryan could protest Geoff was gone in a curl of black smoke, and Ryan turned back to Gavin with a pained look on his face.

“So we’re doing this.” Gavin had apparently not retained the ability to pick up on his droll tone in his werewolf form and brightened considerably, and Ryan forgave him a bit for needing to hunt if he was gonna look so damned cheerful doing it.

Still, he never quite forgot the sight of it, or got the scent of wet dog out of his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, this took a while... sorry!  
> But it's here and it's done yaaaaayy!  
> Find me on tumblr at [m4d-m4x](http://m4d-m4x.tumblr.com/)


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